The Bedroom Door

Trying to become less angry (a few weeks ago) about property damage, I wrote a poem about my daughters bedroom door. I'm not a poet and was not going to share it but recent tweets have suggested it might make people smile??!!

So here goes

The bedroom door

Once I was clean and somewhat sturdy,

Over the years I've become battered and dirty.

Battered from slamming and shoving and kicking,

Dirty from marking and writing and sticking.

I am holding on tightly, by hinges so weak,

That now I've developed a very loud creak.

Time has come for me to go,

Replacement looms, I surely know.

My owner wants me to remain,

He's mine, I hear her loudly proclaim

She doesn't like change, no not all

Even if it's just the replacement of an old door.

So I have been given a little bit longer

Patched up and glued to get a bit stronger.

Like many other broken things here,

Maybe I'll last for another year?

I can not photo the door as her name is all over it! So I've taken a picture from a very old book, no copyright restrictions, with instructions on how to mend a door!

Trying to be positive

Weekly Adoption Shout Out theme this week is about what we do to keep positive

This is HARD!

First of all, I find it impossible to stay positive all the time, even the majority of the time, but I would like to think I am learning how to be less negative and not to always fear the worse!

I am trying to do the following -

1. Keep a record of positive things they say or do even if these things seem very small.

2.  To put the difficult times to one side and move on. Learn from them but not dwell on them.

3. Talk to others in similar situations

4. Remember self care and make time to do it

5. Use distraction techniques for self and child - laughter, singing and music

6. Get enough sleep, I am always more positive if I am less tired

Thoughts

When I do the above I cope better, am generally "more chilled out" and this is picked up by my children. They visibly relax more and are "nicer" to me. I can't do it all the time, but am getting better. I hold onto the fact that "no matter what" I love them (even if I find their behaviour at times deeply upsetting) and that deep down they love us even if they can't show it at the time.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words .........

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words .........

Some thoughts on WORDS from our children

Can be -

Wounding

Offensive

Ruthless

Destructive

Sad

But also can be -

Wonderful

Observant

Responsive

Dazzling

Sensitive

Thoughts

It's just a bit like a roller coaster as to what comes out from their mouths and also how we are feeling at the time as to how we receive, process and deal with them.

I try to remember to praise words and phrases that come into the second category but am often "too busy" or too tired. When I respond inappropriately to words in the first category it is because I am "too busy", too tired, too angry or too upset. Yet I often wonder what is an appropriate way to respond to offensive and hateful language. As they get older we try to talk a bit about their feelings when they are calmer, but it doesn't always work!